Push

What drives you?

What gives you a reason to wake up each day?

What is your source of joy?

All it takes is a little push.

To wake up every day even when it feels so dragging.

Push.

To allow you to keep moving on even when the circumstances seem so difficult and overwhelming.

Push.

To give you a smile in your face even when tasks seem daunting.

Push.


I am currently facing a dilemma in terms of my work.

I am getting too comfortable.

Too comfortable in the sense that I am already losing a sense of my identity. Too comfortable that I find myself dragging myself to work each day.

The push is gone. And I have tried so hard to find it again.

It's gone.

Thank God I have not drifted away with it as well.

A push, I have learned, can come in a form of a challenge or challenges that will force you to make necessary changes in able for you to adapt, grow and learn so that you can become a better person. It is not going to be easy though. It will involve risks. Huge risks.

And if you are not willing to take those risks, be assured that your life will forever be a drag. You feel comfortable, but you are never going anywhere.

Hukay

'Pag may namatay,

tayo ay nalulumbay.

Iiyak dahil sa sakit,

dahil sa pait.

Matagal tagal din ito.

Mundo mo ay tila huminto.

Di matangaap ang biglang pagkawala

Iniwanan lang tayong puno ng mga alaala.

Mga alaalang sadyang di maisasantabi

Dahil ito'y nagbibigay ng ngiti sa ating mga labi.

Tila nakakalimutan na natin ang pait ng paglisan sa mundo

ng taong minahal natin ng totoo.

Pero sa isang iglap,

biglang kukurap.

Maiisip mo na lang na hanggang doon na lang...

Hanggang doon na lang.

Iiyak kang muli,

iyak na mas matindi.

Dadaan ang araw, linggo.

Ikaw ay tila nalilito.

Ngunit darating ang araw

na lahat ng ito ay kailangang ibaon sa limot

Dahil ikaw ay may sarili pang dapat na iniintindi

matapos ang lahat ng luha at pighati.

Dumating ang araw na kinatatakutan.

Ang lahat ay ibabaon sa hukay ng kawalan

at dapat nang kalimutan.

Nag alay ng huling dasal.

Nagpaalam ngunit iyak lamang ang busal.

Wala na. 

Wala na siya.

Sana'y ganito rin kadali.

Hukayin at ibaon sa limot,

mga alaala ng nakaraan na hanggang ngayon ay bumabalot

Sa isip at sa damdamin, pilit ibinabalik ang mga sakit

na nagdudulot ng pait.

At walang humpay na iyak ang kapalit.

Lalo pa't ang mga alalaalang bumabagabag

ay napakihrap ipagpag.

Dahil lahat ng ito'y minsa'y nagbigay-daan

upang ang iyong buhay ay magkaroon ng dahilan.

Sana'y ganun kadali ang sabihing 

"Tama na"

"Ayoko na"

Tadhana

Madalas nasaktan, minsang nakasakit

Dahil sa isang pangarap na nais makamit

Di na natuto.

Ang tigas ng ulo.

Sinabihan nang huwag,

Pero pinilit at pumalag

Di na natuto.

Ang tigas ng ulo.

Inakala na "siya na", "eto na" "sigurado na"

Pero bigo at nauwi sa wala.

Sinabihan muli na umiwas

Ngunit siya ang laging bulalas.

Di na natuto.

Ang tigas ng ulo.

Ngayo'y may nakita.

Desidido. Sya na nga.

Ngunit di maari.

Iba ang pinili.

Dahil nagmamadali

Muli ay naging sawi.

Di na natuto.

Ang tigas ng ulo.

Ilang beses pang kailangang masaktan

Bago tuluyang may matutunan?

Ngayo'y muling nabigyan nang pagkakataon

Sarili ay magpahinga at huminahon.

Pero minsa'y di maiwasan

Ang siyang inakalang tawag nang tadhana'y muling balikan.

Siya ay handa.

Ikaw ay nagpapahinga.

Landas ba'y muling pagtatagpuin?

O ito'y muling palalampasin?

Come and...get it?

We all have something that we always dream of having. And we will go great heights just to have that or to make it happen. Often, it leads to good results...or so we think it does. Many times in our journey toward what we have been dreaming for, we end up either falling short or making the wrong decisions. Which, at times, leads us to not even reaching close to achieving what we are dreaming of.

What constitutes the wrong decisions that we make? 

Simple.

Impatience.

The journey is a process. And in the process, we gain experiences. And in the experiences, we learn and grow.

Yet, we get too caught up with the dream that we never want to go through that process anymore. We want to get it instantly. No room for waiting, for thinking, for discernment. And in that impulse of immediately chasing after what we have been dreaming of, we feel happy. We feel content. 

Or so we thought we were.

Then we realize one thing: 

...the bliss was just temporary.

It becomes a fleeting moment that just fades away. Then you will feel disappointed. Causing you pain and sometimes...other people as well.

We should've learned by then, right?

Wrong.

One painful and disappointing experience sometimes is never enough for us. We would still keep on taking the quick and easy path to our dreams once we see the opportunity to do so. Waiting is never an option. Instant gratification is.

Instant joy. More disappointment. More heartbreak.

I realized that one has truly learned if he does not commit the same mistakes he has done before. 

This is something all of us should be reminded of.

We all have hopes and dreams. It is part of being human. But not all dreams are given to us in an instant. The fulfilment of our dreams is always something worth waiting for. Just like your favorite food will never be served instantly, so do our dreams. It takes time, it goes through the (painful) process. 

And it is the process that makes it refined and perfect for us.

Dream. Wait. Receive.

You deserve better.

Wait...don't go....

As they say... people in our lives come and go.

Some will accept. Some will reject.
Some will love. Some will hate.
Some will stay. Some will leave.

Whatever it is, the question now is: what are you going to do about it?

For some, its a never ending chase.

Running.
Running.
Running.

A never ending run trying to chase someone who has made a decision to leave. Well, for some they never get tired. They keep on chasing even if the signs say that there is no point in doing so.

Why do they do it?

Well, I think its simply because they are used to that person's presence in their lives that it's just too difficult to allow them to leave. They want to ease that pain of seeing this person/ these people leave.

Been there, done that.

Yeah. Chased a couple...no...a bunch of people who decided to leave. And I tell you, I never gave up without a FIGHT. I didn't allow them to leave. They kept pushing me away, but I kept on running to pull them back. It was insane!

Prayers and novenas were said. 
Tears were shed. 
Time was wasted.

Did anything happen? Well, for a very few people yeah. But for the most part...well. It was a seemingly never ending chase.

Looking back at those times where I run the marathon of chasing people, I just smile and say to myself:

"Craaaazzzzyyyyyyy!!!" 

(plus an insulting self-laugh follows)

Yeah, crazy me indeed. But then, after those years of craziness, what have I learned?

1. I have learned that it is such a waste of time, money and effort trying to chase people who never wanted to be with you.
2. I have learned that chasing people is more tiring than jogging for 30 minutes (or more).
3. I have learned that you will surely miss a lot in your life during the chase.
4. I have learned that chasing can eventually be very depressing (even suicidal).
5. I have learned that you create more enemies during the chase.

Yeah. had to learn all of those the hard way. But sometimes, we really need a dose of such hardships until we finally learn.

At the end of it all, my most important learning is the art of LETTING GO.

Yes.

LETTING GO.

There's no other way, my friend. Why is this important? Well, simply because in letting go...

1. You'll discover that better things are up ahead. (Way better things).
2. You'll gain more friends and connections along the way.
3. You'll know who your real friends are.
4. You'll learn to deal with different kinds of people around you.
5. You'll be more at peace knowing that there are people who celebrates YOU.

So...Are there people pushing you away right now?

Then get ready...
Set...

LET GO! :)

Challenge accepted?